GENE SIMMONS: BREVITY IS THE SOUL OF...SOMETHING

Gene Simmons' website is hilarious. He prints most of his fans' letters, and you can almost hear the scowling as he dispenses the most minimal-effort responses (he even turns down a fan's request to appear with him on Deal or No Deal). Most of the correspondence is inane:

Gene,
Does the money, women, fame, being in the public eye, being a rock icon, etc. ever get old?

Best-
W

Response from Gene:

No.

...or this one, for which there are not enough [sic]s in the world:

was watching Free Ride on Sunday and Im not sure what episode it is but the main charaters firned Doc i think was with his band and was wearing clothes just like GEne Simmons. He had the bass and everything. I thought maybe, maybe not. But then he said "check this out" and stuck his tongue out and made it look excatly like Genes. It was crazy. Im typing as i watch this show its so cool. Matt You Biggest Fan

Response from Gene:

Not me.

He has—no kidding—750 pages of this stuff.