FINALLY, A REASON TO RUN A PICTURE OF SAM THE EAGLE

Today's New York Times has a profile of Bert Padell, financial advisor to the stars. Check out his roster:

"The music business, or any fast business, has a lot of money up front, and slowly but surely it trickles down to nothing," said Mr. Padell, whose clients have included Madonna, Tupac Shakur, Alicia Keys, Rakim, T-Rex, the Kinks, Ben Vereen and Alice Cooper. The problem is, Mr. Padell said, you can't really get a rock star excited by traditional long-term investments.

"You tell him to go into an I.R.A. and what can you put away, $15,000 a year?" he said. "If he had five years, what would you have, $75,000? I don't have to tell you how long that would last for a musician. What young musician would think of something so mundane?"

Good thing Tupac was saving up—we all know how Biggie felt about the burdens of financial extravagance. But the weirdest revelation in the article is that Cooper owns a rock-and-sports-themed restaurant chain, Alice Cooper's Town, and that the menu features all sorts of ridiculously punny offerings, such as "Wings of Mass Destruction"and "Gonzo's BBQ Beef." The best part is that the web site plays Cooper's "Posion," which is probably not the song you want to hear when ordering food. Anyway, we're totally getting the Stevie Nicks Garden Burger.